TruelyKC on Xanga

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Is this the end?

The sun rises, but it also sets

‘The end’
When a process in life reaches it’s last stage,
The words, at first thought,
Draws a negative emotion from people usually..
Might even scare the life outta some…
But nevertheless it inevitable.
Do we want good things to end?
Of course..no.
We don’t wanna end spending time with the people we love.
We don’t wanna end seeing the people love…
… we don’t wanna love contact..
But it happens. Everyone has lost contact with close close friends.
The only thing that isn’t lost is the memories you keep..
..yet you can only truly be happy to share them with your lost ones.

So why do things end??
For anything to end, it has to begin.
So therefore, with everything that begins, there must be an end.
When u begin something,
a homework assignment…a friendship….a boy-girl relationship..
You’re not aware of the end..
(okay perhaps with the homework.. you usually WANT it to end)
In addition, relationships with people,
These could end at anytime,
Breaking through argument and dispute,
Or it may gradually fade away when you don’t expect it to.
You suddenly after a while realize that it’s gone…
Won’t be back unless you take action upon it.

So how does this apply to me??
When I was young, I was scared that of death.
… OKAY I know it’s lame,
But it was the thought of not being to experience the world
Or seeing these around me anymore…
Was I scare of the end? Yes
Why? Perhaps because I wasn’t in control of the situation.
The situation in which one day.. My LIFE… will end some day.
Do I fear the end because it’s something that can’t be avoided..
.. A situation not in control of my hands.

So I’m FINALLY eighteen now.
That gives privilege to do all sorts of things!
I am finally a man.. Right? (the answer is yes..)
Well on my 18th birthday, though it was fun and all..
To be honest,
It didn’t feel anything different.
Perhaps reality hasn’t kicked in yet, but I don’t feel like I’ve entered ‘manhood’
I feel like the same old immature KC that hasn’t ever lived..
Do I need age to measure my maturity?
Or do I decide that myself through tough life lessons?
Is the age 18, the END of my youth?
In society’s eyes.. Yes..
The expectation to act normal.. Doesn’t seem pressuring to many..
But this pressure is felt when your childlike behaviour is ‘looked down’ by society.
I’ll decide when my youth ends, by that time I’ll probably be a grumpy old man ^^

Also, it’s my LAST week of college next week before study leave.
Not being able to see them anymore is really gonna hurt me,
My closest friends have tried so much for me, whilst I’m the completely opposite.
Truly grateful.
Is the end of college, also the end of close friendships?
We all say how we’ll see each other soon,
And text each other and arrange stuff.
But most people tend to fade..
You only really see them once or twice a year rather than the every other week you guys discussed…
Am I speaking the truth? Some of you probably would say no.
But it’s only because most of us can’t accept this fate,
But there’s always gonna be people we fade from. =[

Is the end really that BAD??

Of course NOT! =D
(really need to lighten this blog up, the light in the dark)
In times of pain and depression .. We all want them to end.
Brings a massive smile on our face when something ends right?

Doesn’t a performer feel completely relieved after finished a fine performance?
Doesn’t a Mum have utter most joy when baking a completely cake? (my mum certainly does) Right?? Haha

Yes everything has a beginning and an end.
Once we begin something,
We should always keep it in the back of our mind something is to end.
We should cherish the precious time we have and full experience life in between.
Live every moment like there’s no tomorrow.
Finish a task without regret but with a smile and joy.
Turn something negative into something positive.
Okay.. Perhaps I’m starting to get too carried away xD

Being human is a beauty gift.
Like a cocoon, we are release from our mothers womb.
Created to be such beautiful beings.
Never give up, because that extra bit of effort may just change the outcome of the end.
It doesn’t have to end bad.

When something ends, we can learn from it and improve next time

One final note,
Me, KC, I’m not the greatest friend in the world,
It’s easier to lose contact with me.
But there have been people who haven’t given up on me.
For that I’m truly grateful.

When something ends, we can learn from it and improve next time

Don’t let something end without trying to fight.
For my last few blogs,
A pattern of depressing and moody blogs has been present..
My blogs just reflect how I feel at that point in time perhaps.
I’ll stop being so Emo…

Friday, 09 April 2010

Conflict. Arguments. Life.

Noone is perfect.
No matter how many friends we have,
Or how innocent we look on the outside,
We all had arguments.. =/
Leaving scars and horrible memories for the rest of your life.
Personally?
As much as I don’t like saying it..
There are those out there who hate me,
Usually over the silliest things as well.
..hurts me just thinking bout it.
Yes, I think I do hate some people, as much as I don’t like to say.
Usually because I feel betrayed.

Anywayz.
What is conflict?
Perhaps conflict is when two or more people do not agree on a certain view,
And when they come in contact, A mental war begins.. sometimes physical even..

Though the two parties may not speak to each other in the future,
It does feel like the war of thoughts will continue to fight amongst each other,
Your brain just ponders on it constantly,
And it puts you off focus from the things in life u actually need to achieve or maintain..
The longer it goes on, the longer the struggle,
the harder it is for one party to eventually admit defeat.
Yet sometimes, many don’t realise that the only way to set peace in mind..
..is just to simply talk bout it.
Yeeh.. I know… easier said than done…><

So whose fault is it?
Try to remember the last time you’ve had an argument with a close friend.
Now, think bout it for a second..
And list all the wrong things they’ve done to you.
Was it a valid reason to be angry?

If it weren’t you, perhaps a friend…
You can only trust what your eyes and ears see from when the argument actually happened.
(unless your friend is the most geniue person in the world.. ( I’m probably not the best example) loool) ><
Because most of the time, what u hear from your friend may not actually be the total truth.

There’s a bunch of quotes in my economics classroom stuck onto the walls, here’s one:

The blind try to prove themselves why others are wrong, but the
wise try to prove why they, themselves, are wrong.

Pretty cool quote if you ask me. =]
You gotta see the situation from the eyes from the opponent.
Coz all this time that you spending thinking away…
Thinking “I don’t care bout him/her anymore” and “They were definitely in the wrong”

You’re probably just convincing yourself in truth.

Just trying to find any excuse to think I am actually right.
And it’s due to stubbornness that many are just blinded by fact.
Too stubborn to admit the actual truth (perhaps even the cause),
Because they are scared it will inflict damage on their pride.

Pride and stubbornness stop us from truly being able to resolve conflicts and starting afresh

Also in the moment of conflict,
Perhaps you may have said something that may have hurt them too.
Probably because your emotions such as anger and frustration kicks in,
Because you cannot seem to find the words to put them down..

Don’t worry you’re not always in the wrong!
I’m not sure whether I can say this clearly,
Coz it still feels like a bunch of jigsaw pieces in my head xD

- If everyone else around you believes and supports you, you’re probably 80 percent right.
- If your opponent has had a history of conflict with people, then you’re 50 percent right.
- If they have come back to talk to you bout it,
that means they wanna be friends with you again,

- If not and instead they have come back to inflict words on you again,
Then you’re probably 70 percent right again, coz they feel guilty bout the situation

Anywayz, no one likes conflict, arguments.
Only leads to pain.
Advice from me?...
..just talk bout it nice and early,
Or else you’ll be in a world of regret and hurt.

Thanks for reading!

K.C

x

Quote from my mate King! ^^:

*have you thought about another side
when one person cares so much that they admit defeat even tho they know they're right just so that there are no arguments
*when they admit defeat, the other person may or may not see it....but often they realise that hang on...I'm actually wrong
when they have time to reflect or carry out the choice
Anger and wanting to prove the other person wrong only further blinds you from the truth

Check out his blogs too! http://king-wah.xanga.com/

Thursday, 25 February 2010

The truth is... ><

The truth is….

The truth is..
Well.. how do I explain this?
Is there a way I can say this without hurting anyone’s feelings
Or embarrassing myself?
Okay.
Here goes..
The truth is..
To be honest,
As your reading on and on,
Eyes rolling across the screen…

I’m just babbling..
There’s nothing to say xD

Were you eager to know what the hell I was going to say?
If so, Can’t blame ya haha..

Humans can be described as Truth-Seeking Greedy Monsters.
Can we blame ourselves?
I guess we were made that way.
Think of it like this.
The truth can usually be just a few words.
If you asked your friend for their expensive watch,
Would they give it to you?
Well probably not… lool ><
It’s important to them
But.
If u asked your friend something serious..
Something which involves the truth.
It may be of equal importance to that of the watch.
But the difference is the truth can be shared.

It’s also a powerful tool which can just spontaneously bring emotion.
This meaning..
Finding out your amazing grades you got from your exam, Happiness
Finding out your close friend is going to die soon from disease, Sadness
Finding out that your partner has cheated on you for another, Angriness.

It’s simple,
The truth can not only bring emotion,
But it could change the way we live, the way we look at the world.
Sometimes, as extreme as if your mind were to be reborn.

Is that a good thing?
Is knowing the truth really good for us?
Or perhaps it were better if we just lived a lie,
As long as we don’t know and we live happily,
That could be ‘’the truth’’

Then think bout it,
What is actually the best way to go bout the truth.
To hide it, so those around will not be hurt?
Or
To share it, to be respectful to a friend or family as a person?

There’s a situation in a drama I’ve watched recently.
A women catches her husband cheating on her.
Knowing her son is still young,
She doesn’t want him to know of such affairs, which could affect his life.
She decides to ask her husband to leave.
Her husband then goes and commits suicide.
The son then blames the mother for causing him to die,
And hated her during the years which he grew up.

Is this mother in the wrong for hiding the truth?
In her words, she was only doing what was best for him at the time.
Allowing her child to hate her in order for him to grow up properly?

Not the greatest scenario I guess. But bleeeh ><
You kinda get the point Lool

Why do we need to feel the truth? And why do we hide from it sometimes?
Perhaps we need to find the truth in order to redeem ourselves, take control of the situation…(VENGANCE! Jokes xD) plan what actions need to be taken.

And Perhaps sometimes.. we decide to hide from the truth, because we fear the outcome is not what we want, or we don’t want it to change us at all ><

My friend told me:
If you look at truth objectivly. It's conformity to fact
And it's what anyone wishes to hear because nobody wants to hear a lie
Or in an extreme case to live a lie

But think bout it.
As long as you lived. You have lived.
Why not live a lie?
The only thing that is holding you back is your pride.
And when u die, as long as u died happily ..
..would it matter how much pride u gained in life?

On the other hand,
Why do people sometimes feel the need to hide the truth?
Are we ashamed? =S
Scared of what the world may think?
Sometimes the world already knows
And the only person u end up lying to is yourself. =/

In all honestly,
It’s better sometimes to accept the truth.
Just take it and don’t look back.
Make a statement to the world and step out of the shadow.
It may be the only way you’ll ever be able to reach your goals and dreams.

Last word:
Recently I found my gameboy colour..
Which ‘’apparently’’ I lost when I was little according to my mum ><
Was it for the greater good? xD

Anywayz, thanks for reading.

First blog, so little rusty.

K.C

x

In vino veritas. In wine there is truth

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Anger..

Anger.
When you sometimes play a game, and you lose.
Sometimes this sudden feeling just… rushes to you.
You cannot believe it and you feel as if you have lost so much pride.
And Anger Busts Out.

(If you’re a sore loser…. XD)

Why do people fight?
Why does the school bully choose to hit people?
If a bully never picked on you,
And suddenly one day,
U confront him,
Why does he throw a fist at you?

The reason is because he feels like he is demoted from his status.
He’s the school bully. NOONE messes with him.
Therefore he feels he has to demote you..
.. Make u feel like u are nothing significant to the world.

But if he truly wanted to hurt you… isn’t there other ways apart from fist?
Perhaps he could make you feel hurt by….

…er.. expressing his knowledge of the solar system to you? (Y)
Makes you look stupid now cause you aren‘t exactly the smartest
… but does that really make you feel hurt inside? =/

The answer is NO. it doesn’t.

People fight or choose to use their fists or hurt people physically,
because it is the quickest way to inflict pain.
Well, that’s OBVIOUS. But think bout it…
When two people argue,
One usually ends up throwing fist,
Because they can’t hurt the other people with words anymore.
… Can’t find anymore things to prove they are right, or express themselves.
They’ll feel trapped in a corner, against the ropes…
Wanting to fight back… they choose the path of throwing fists.

Psychologically OWNED. Basically. Lol

Hurting someone on the outside, is so much easier and faster than on the inside.

Anger is a LOUD emotion. Agree?
Perhaps it’s the most proud emotion too.
It doesn’t hide.
Perhaps it cannot hide.
The pain Anger stirs in your heart is unmanageable sometimes.
Makes you end up making decisions that you’d never expect….
Makes you break things…
Makes you hurt the people you love.

So why were we created with this emotion anger?
Is there no Happiness and Joy without Sadness and Pain?

Does it balance out?

Probably Not . The damage and footprints causes by Anger may never been able to heal and repaired.
The best option we have sometimes, is to hide it. Forget it ever happened…
It’s like saying:
what Happiness in this world can ever hide away the fact that you killed someone?
The scars are engraved in your heart..

Such an emotion like Anger: loud and leading to bad things.
Does that mean silence is the key to victory?

I believe… Sometimes yes.
In a situation where you may feel perhaps, trapped or isolated.
Stay calm.
That way, your thoughts will flow easier.
And a “way out” can be found.

Ok. It’s been serious talk for waaay too long now
For those who do not know me THAT well.
I believe I’m two things.

Completely innocent… and completely evil. =]

Varying depending on what mood I am in…
If im in an evil mood… that means I’m ready to have fun at the expenses of other people’s misery xD
DON’T worry, im not a school bully… ><
I love hitting my m8. Not too hard of course.
The fact that she’s a girl makes it all the merrier lool.
If you think this is wrong in any single way… you’re a SEXIST. XD

Somehow.. Her anger makes me laugh lool.
Of course she smiles too! But in an anger way. >=]
So perhaps anger is always a bad thing. ^^
Fun, more like.

Also… Sometimes,
Me and my m8s get into little rows about things in life.
And when I can’t think of anything to say and losing….
.. I just bring out the good old ‘your mum’ cuss.

My m8, Johnathan always ends up trying to hurt me after.
The look on his face is acutally priceless.
Why does he try to hurt me?
Coz he got psychologically raped…. Lol

As I said earlier,

Hurting someone on the outside, is so much easier and faster than on the inside.
………That doesn’t mean it more it’s more painful than hurting someone psychologically though.

NOT trying to encourage, of course… haha.
Anger only leads to more anger… until the chain is broken… ><
Think bout that one. (Y)

Anywayz, Thanks for reading!
Don’t get anger now..
K.C x

Sometimes, I have the biggest laughs with my m8s.
Ever tried poking or (punching) someone until they get annoyed and hit you back?
(if u’ve never, then u haven’t lived) ^^
Their reaction is priceless.
Your friends are slower to anger than most other people.
Treat them well! X

Saturday, 31 October 2009

Fears

Fear
Is it the Goosebumps u get when you respond to something…
Is it the sudden paranoid feeling creeping within you?
Perhaps it’s the feeling of a possible outcome you predict…
We all have fears,
Sometimes no matter how hard we try,
We just panic and our natural instincts just take over.

Pfftt… real men don’t have fears..
Real men don’t step down…
If anything, Real men enjoy the taste of defeat..
.. Stare a challenge in it’s eyes..
Now.. When was the last time I got scared.. ?
Oooh, well I was watching SAW 3 the other day..
Why don’t I wanna see someone’s head sliced open?
Hmm… is that Fear?
Because It’s gory… meeh, I’ve been traumatized enough from movies anyway..
Oo perhaps I don’t want the same thing happening to me… any time soon ><
Everyone else is scared of this kinda stuff…
So I guess it’s kinda natural? Normal?

Think of it this way…
Imagine noone told you what a horror movie was..
Imagine you’ve never seen anyone’s reaction to a horror movie…
Would you still react the same?

Someone’s we fear people’s judgments’
We start feeling insecure. Hurt. Isolated from what a ‘normal’ community would be.
We start finding excuses. We start finding scapegoats.
We try to convince ourselves that we’re are not wrong in doing something
In truth,
We are just running away…

I’ve had this situation many times.
It’s like when you are young
And you wet the bed… (BTW, I don’t anymore… just to let u know..)><
Is it normal? Perhaps.
Is it shameful? Apparently yes.
If asked, we lie. It’s the best way for us to survive.
Live on in life without pressure of others.
But deep inside you still feel hurt.
Tell yourself you do not.
But you end up making the same mistake again and again! =/

We face fears almost everyday.
Expectations are mainly the reasons behind it.
Humans tend to feel secure when they know what the outcome will be.
We like to balance out the possibilities of a situation.
By doing this, we gain this, we lose this much.
By doing THAT, we COULD gain this much, but then again we lose this much.
Fear takes control when you become sooo AWARE of the losses in your head.
That’s when you decide to change your mind.
And chicken out. I guess… xD

Imagine this situation.
You’re waiting at a bus stop for the next bus.
You wait and you wait. Expecting the bus to arrive anytime soon.
Yet… as you wait.
You grow impatient.
You start worrying about being late perhaps.
By the time you look at your watch…
You get fed up and instead go to catch a tube.

Now another situation is.
You arrive at the bus station.
On the machine which shows all the times of when the buses come.
You notice your bus takes 10 mins.
You decide that it’s not worth the money to pay to get on the tube.
And knowing that you have to wait.
You can peacefully pull out your mp3 and listen away to your favorite music.
Time flies.
Been in either of these two situations.
Perhaps this doesn’t relate to fear so much.
But it’s knowing the outcome…
.. Which we can then change, or respond to.

Do you believe that…
‘The more you have, the harder it is to let go.’ ?

If a friend asked for 5 pounds, could you give it all?
If a friend asked for 1000 pounds, could you give it all?
Even if your answer for both questions were yes..
.. Bet you would still hesitate.
Honestly, I used to be let go of a lot in my life.
I used walk away from a lot. Like a stray dog.
Always had been able to survive by myself.
I guess it’s been harder and harder recently.
I’ve gained so much from the last year…
.. Giving it up. Would be hard.

In reading a manga recently.
A particularly brilliant one.
I’ve come across a beautiful thing.
Humans never say die.
Even when it looks like we’ve given up.
We Haven’t.
And when we are weak,
our friends support us and give us the support we need. <3

This September a new chapter has began.
Coping with new fears new obstacles.
Hoping I won’t need to run away.
Hoping I don’t need to make excuses anymore.
Fear. Be ready.
It’s finally time I’m chasing you.

K.C

X